Tear Down. Start Again.

I’m changing the name of this blog. As I am writing this, I haven’t changed it yet. I don’t know what the new name should be, so hopefully typing this will clear some things up.  It used to be called,  “My Journey Through San Diego.”  Now, it is more of a journey through life. Well, not even that. Let’s just call it a journey. That’s the most accurate thing.

Have you ever played with building blocks? Most of us used them in our childhood. Some of us still use them in our adulthood. I’m not judging. Anyway, we would creatively build a tower, or a castle, or something, out of these blocks. Two things would happen eventually: the tower would topple due to us not building it well or we would not be satisfied with what we built and tear it down. Either way, whatever we worked at would be destroyed and we would start again.

I think those building blocks are our life, or rather, pieces of it. We try to put everything together to make whatever we want to make out of our lives only to become frustrated as it eventually collapses in on itself or we tear it down. We become hopeless and wonder what will happen now that we have nothing built.

The reason I bring this up is because this happened to me on Sunday. God took my life and said, “You’ve built this all wrong,” and proceeded to knock it down. I feel like this happens more than we talk about. We listen to the burdens of our hearts and think we should build our lives off of passions we have. Sounds about right, huh?

I’d challenge that.

First off, our hearts are dangerous. They are spastic time bombs that go off whenever they want to, making us fall in love with even death. Our hearts are not safe, but they are sacred. Passion does flow from the heart, but we have to make sure that our passions follow God’s. I think of David’s title of A Man After God’s Own Heart. By no way was David a good man. He was a sinner like the rest of us. However, David desired the passions of God. He thirsted for them, as we thirst in the desert for a drink (Ps 63: 1).

Secondly, we shouldn’t listen to our hearts. Even God talks about replacing them in Ezekiel 36.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26

The promise of being given a new heart and a new spirit was all I needed to look at my heart and tell it to shut up. I was done with it.

And it was when I said this, when I purposed it, that my life just changed. And not just a little bit, but by a lot. God took my life, all of the pieces of it and lined them beautifully and in order. There was no guessing, not second thoughts, no doubts. God did his thing, and it was beautiful. It is beautiful.

For the first time in my life, there is not a point in my life, not a building block, that feels pointless. There is not a point where there was no purpose.

The reason I can say that is because God has a purpose for everything, including my sins and failures. He is using every part of my life for His glory, and it is majestic. It’s like watching a sunset on a beach. You can’t help but say, “This feels right.” As is put in Hebrews 13,

May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”
Hebrews 13:20-21

I don’t know why, but I always felt like I was missing something in my life. As if I wasn’t ready for what God had planned in my life. It felt like parts of my life I had gone through before had nothing to do with God’s calling on my life. And on Sunday night, God spoke to me clearly and directly. What he told me reminded me of the story of Jeremiah, especially in chapter 29 where He says,

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11

And at that point, I was terrified. Have you ever seen something so beautiful, so amazing, that it just overwhelmed you? Where you couldn’t come up with a response because you just could fathom what was in front of you? That was my reaction to God’s will recognizing God’s will for my life. Also, the verse that says “as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts,” is no joke. God’s plan exceeds whatever I could ever see myself doing. And that’s a good thing. If what God gave me was attainable by man, why would I depend on Him?

Well played God, well played.

But this is what happens when we just open up to God even a little. By no means am I perfect. I’m not even close. I’m just a short, brown, bald guy who loves God and finally started asking God, “Hey, what do you want me to do, really?” It was God who took it from there. He wrecked my life, and broke my heart. But, He’s the most loving. Funny how that works.

In closing, I challenge all of us, so sit back and just ask God to build your tower. It’ll look cooler than any person could ever make it. It might even have a working moat. You never know until you ask. And then sit back and watch, because God does say, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). I promise, His workmanship is unlike any other.

Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told.
Habakkuk 1:5


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